Day 61 : Recovery so far

Well I guess I keep forgetting to make a video.  The Bells Palsy is definitely at the back of my mind now.  I rarely think about it.  I don't need to tape my eye to sleep, I can eat and drink normally, my speech is back to normal, my eye doesn't seem to water or sting anymore .... well if it does its only a bit and not very often.  I can whistle!, I can fill my cheeks with air.  For the most part I am recovered.  It is noticeable that my mouth is not exactly even or symetrical during expressive faces, and the muscles in my face feel really sluggish by the end of each day, especially if I'm really tired.  I am glad I filmed a new video, it's been nearly a month since I filmed the last.  The differences between the last video and this are immense.  My mouth looks closer to normal, my eyebrow raises further and arches more etc etc.  It made me feel a lot better.  As it turned out, I wasn't one of the ones that got better in a couple of weeks ... it looks like I'm not going to make the three month deadline, but I'm fine with it.  When I had Bells Palsy initially and especially after one week when the condition degraded, there was a small part of me that worried I would be like that for life.  I remember thinking ... "so long as my speech returns to normal I don't care about the rest", and  ... "If I can just get to sleep at night without taping up my eye, it doesn't matter about the rest".  I wish back then I could have seen myself now, and all that worry could have gone away.  I have watched many peoples videos online, and it does seem like almost everyone recovers eventually.  Even the people that say "I never got better" are normally people that are still recovering, or have recovered 80% movement or so back.  The worst case I have seen is FitGirl15's vidoes (search on youtube) her initial onset is so severe it completely reshapes her face.  She recently posted a 2.5 year update, and although not back to normal, she looks so much better.  I guess even after 2 years things can still improve.  If there is anyone out there that "has not recovered" or "never got better", please post a vid or email me.  I am genuinely interested in finding out more.  It massively sucks when the Doctors tell you .... there is a small chance you may never get better.  It's a big blow to take when you have only just found out what your condition is.  Anyway.  Here is my recovery video to date, enjoy.

Also ... I would like to share a video by Cait. It was her video that made me think of filming my recovery in the first place, and her video gave me a lot more confidence in recovery. I heard from her recently too, which was nice.

Day 37 : Recovery is so slow

17th January 2013
Whoops I'm a bit late writing this, 9 more days have passed.  If recovery is still occurring, it's so slow now that I can no longer notice any differences.  I just made a new video, it's uploading and I'll try and compare it to the one I made 9 days ago.  Comparing the shape of the mouth ... I don't think I am able to say it has changed.  The eyebrows are clearly more recovered than 9 days ago!  Yesss!  I knew this blog was a good idea.  Actually I was starting to feel a bit fed up about it again, I shouldn't be because I have recovered a lot faster than most people do, but the recovery has slowed down so much it feels like it has stopped.  I feel like my nose moves a little more too but it is hard to tell.  There may be a few more wrinkles on my face, or the ones that existed may be a little longer.  The videos have different light though, that could be the difference.  Anyway ... good news, looks like recovery hasn't stopped.  Had a bit of a sore day with the eye today, they come and go.  I wish my eye would make that 1% more movement I need to be able to sleep without taping it shut.  I'll stop writing whilst I am still happy about it.

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Day 28 : One month form onset

09 January 2013
I have switched from posting daily to posting weekly.  This is for two main reasons.  Firstly, being back at work means I have less free time on a day to day basis, I quite often forget about the blog with all the other nonsense I have spinning around my head in the daily life of a Software Engineer (yeuck).  The other reason is that the recovery has dramatically slowed down now.  I still feel like things are improving slowly,  the muscles around my eye feel more powerful.  I have painful moments every so often, maybe a couple of times a day.  Also when applying pressure to the muscles around my brow, it feels like I have cramp in my face for a few minutes.  When pulling expressive faces and holding them, unlike my normal side, the paralyzed side will twitch/vibrate a little, almost as if the signal is varied in strength - this is noticeable on the mouth the nose, the eye, everywhere really.  I have problems seeing through my right eye for bursts of about 15 seconds, a minute at the most where my eye feels really cloudy like before, and I cant do anything to correct it ... it just sorts itself out eventually.  I am slowly increasing my exercise schedule back to the same as what I was doing before ... wow three weeks off really effects your fitness level, it feels hard to run a simple 5k.  I have two new vids, one to show progress and the other to show how i prepare my eye for sleep.  My Lacri Lube has a shelf life of one month and that expires today.  I guess I'll move onto regular eyedrops tomorrow, I think it will be ok as I can 99% close my eye.  Im half tempted to stop using tape, but I'll carry on until it closes more easily.  Im still taking B12, multivitamins and Fish Oil with Omega every single day.

Day 23 : Back in the pool

3rd January 2013

Yep, I got up and went swimming today. It was weird. Two things were different.  When I put my goggles on I normally raise my eyebrows to ensure a good fit around the eye.  Obviously I cant do this, so I had to put them on and then manually raise the eyebrow with my hand.  It never fit quite as good as the left and it let a bit of water in, which splashed straight onto my eyeball because my reactionary blink is usually about half a second too late.  No major problem though.  Also when breathing, I had to ensure my whole mouth came out the water and not just part of it.  i favour breathing to the right, and I can't make the same shape with my mouth that I am used to.  Still, I swam a kilometer in relatively quick time and it felt good.  I had a few more sharp pains around the ear throughout the day, I was very tired by tea time, maybe its because I'm not used to the exercise anymore.  Here is a new video, comparing it to the last one ... I think there is improvement all around.  The wrinkles on my forehead go all the way across  my eyebrow raises more, my mouth has more movement, but the eye looks pretty much the same to me.

Day 22 : Back to work

2nd January 2013
I rode my motorcycle for the first time in a while.  i didn't really have any problems, but it's only a 15 minute journey (at the most).  Staring at a screen all day at work did make my eye a little irritated.  I think i normally blink more when sat in front of a computer, and subconscious blinks are still pretty much non existent.  It's impossible to detect any improvements from one day to the next, but I would definitely say my eye improvements have slowed.

Day 21 : New Years Day

01 January 2013
2013 ... I don't really like odd numbers, they don't sound as nice as even ones.  Oh well, 2012 was a cracking year for me, just a shame it ended on a bit of a downer with the bells palsy.  I am still thankful for what I have health wise.  It could have been much worse.  I am also thankful for each improvement and incremental recovery no matter how small.  Again I haven't had a really good look in the mirror for some time.  Here is a photograph from last night, although I am very pleased with my recovery overall ... my smile has a long way to go, but we are getting there.

Day 20 : New Years Eve

December 31st 2012
Well, today is actually the 2nd of January, but I keep getting a bit behind on the diary.  This is a good thing though, because I can now forget I have bells palsy for most of the day.  I quite often forget about it.  Apart from of course when I wake up every morning and tear the tape of my eyelid ... that never gets any less painful.  Also trying to remember to tape it up before I fall asleep is a bit of a chore.  I very nearly fell asleep the other night without it.  to be honest, my eye closes about 99% of the way most of the time, I have a strong suspicion I could stop taping it up, but it is best to be on the safe side.  Quite busy today with it being NYE, I saw lots of friends and had a bit of a drink.  Nothing excessive though, I still don't want to do anything to hinder the recovery in any way.  I8 did look in the mirror at one point and tried to think of a number for how recovered I am.  It's a difficult question ... my right eyebrow moves about 40% as much as the left, my right eye can close 99% of the way but I cannot move the muscles around it even 1%.  My mouth has about 20% of its movement back at a guess, but a big smile means it gets overpowered by the working side and it is hard to see any improvement in that position.  My right nostril flares about 20% the amount that my left does and I still cannot whistle or pucker up my lips.  At a guess I would go for 30% recovered?  Maybe I am being a bit harsh.